Thursday, 31 January 2008

snouts in the trough

As everyone in any kind of business knows, this time of year is a bit light on the old cashflow.
Christmas debt, credit crunch, sub-prime shitters, whatever, choose your poison.
So with a lack of gold and a heavy heart, I have by turns been chained to the easel and the laptop all week trying to eleviate the fiscal freeze.
It would appear, that despite my best efforts to turn an honest coin, I am barking up the wrong cashpoint...............(if you'll forgive a mixed metaphor).

What I need is to do is get elected, or maybe become a peer.

I was bombarded with T.V. adverts throughout the festive period and into January.
What about ? make sure I got my self assesment tax form in on time.
No fucking wonder, with all those salaries to pay for the kids at Uni, and wives "working" for their M.P. husbands, they need to get their cash flow up !
I'd like to see what they declare as taxable income. Wankers.

Of course, if you are a member of the Upper House you just do a few introductions.
Facilitate a nice warm handshake between an arms dealer and the MOD procurement chappy, and Bob's your uncle, nice little tickle, Antigua here we come.
Instead of feathering his own nest that fucker ought to spend his time sorting out a good deal on body armour for the lads in Iraq and Afghanistan............or maybe a nice big order of top quality Union Jack's for the boxes they keep coming home in.

A particularly amusing line on Radio 5 yesterday came from a Labour MP trying to convince the listeners and the program host, that our Parliamentary representatives employ their wives because they work so hard, for such long hours that it's the only way to avoid marital breakdown.
So I suppose the poor Donkeys of the chattering classes all go home on time every night then do we ?

Pull the other one, it's got fucking bells on.


Manic Mother Of Five said...

Fair point well made my friend. Abuse of power just leaves such a bad taste - and we elect the buggers. That said, I have to say, I have a good deal of time for our elected member. Now there's a sentence I don't day often!!!!

Swearing Mother said...

Bastards, the lot of them. I don't trust any of them, they're all shafting us one way or another.

Wish my son could have had such a cushy "job" to pay his way through Uni, it's enough to start a revolution.

Swine indeed.

beachfreak said...

They've been around since Rome, probably longer, the thieving shites. I'd suggest another peasants' revolt, akin to what SM is touting, but frankly the last one run out of Norfolk didn't do much good and I can't be arsed with all that lynching and quartering. I gather the latter really hurts like fuck.

I see you're linking to Guido these days, do I detect a new political bent to Knifepainter?

Speaking of your new links, I'm loving the mental Irish bint. And Norfolk Broad is promising.

Great post by the way, we all need to remember that it doesn't matter what colour they are.....

sally in norfolk said...

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knifepainter said...

Elected there's a phrase worth exploring MMoF !

Hi sweary, as you say; bastards.

Now your talkin' Freak. Revolting peasants.
I'm with you, we should let someone else start it this time !
Nice you spotted the new links. As you say, Norfolkbroad is gonna be good. As for Guido, you can only ignore that level of application to a cause for so long.
In terms of political involvement, I think maybe I should broach some of the more pressing issues occasionally.....what do you reckon ?

Hey Sal, did we sort a diary date

Swearing Mother said...

And you know why MPs have to pay their wives to be their secretaries, don't you?

Cos their mistresses don't to shorthand. Although I bet they aren't averse to a little bit of dick-tation.

Still think they are all BASTARDS.

theblognik said...

A job's for your wife, not just your mistress.

Isn't that how the saying goes?

Now, seriously. Most of them are actually not bastards. Just like most squaddies are not vicious killers who need to cover up massacres. They do a job because they want to, and they belive in it, and their boss tells them what's needed a couple of times every day. It is, I can honestly say, still possible to work in public service for the right reasons and do a good job. Don't imagine that, just because a couple of them are abusing the expenses system, it means the whole thing is bent out of shape.

Still, it's best to fight for your mates because they're the ones who will do the same in turn. You wanna bring home stories of how awful it is out there? There's probably a good vacancy for you as an MP.

Which party do you want to join? Or you could make sure you aren't taken advantage of. In which case, you either run a farm in Carmarthenshire or join the Civil Service.

Blogging about it isn't real action. It's an expression of frustration, sure. But anyone can act cross, these days. You want to make a point? Stand for election.

(I might vote for you.)

theblognik said...

Just to clarify... I don't condone anyone ripping off anyone else. Also, I won't blame anyone else for the fact that I've accounted badly and am skint at the start of February. I aim to do an MBA so I can start shafting accountants on the futures market in January when they all seem to be asleep. I shall make an ethical investment in the firm of Kevlar and Kevlar, which seems to being doing brisk business at the moment. And then I shall put the rest of the world to rights...

theblognik said...

Another clarification - ripping off acountants is okay, as they are more mineral than animal. They're not alien, just... very simple carbon forms. Like rocks. So you can take their money with impunity. Honest, it's fine.

theblognik said...

[Note to self: No more posting while drunk. You'll get yourself banned.]